the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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