that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
