Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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