I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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