First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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