taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize