Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
