I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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