i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
