i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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