i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
