Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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