im drinking this country out of the recession.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
