Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
