His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
