shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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