I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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