We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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