My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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