Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize