I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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