i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Farmville is her only friend.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
