this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
