please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
