All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
