I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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