Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it was like eating out sand paper
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
