i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
