I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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