HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
