i would punch a child for taco bell
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
