Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
