You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize