I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
