wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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