Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
