I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
