hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
