i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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