So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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