Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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