phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
