if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize