i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
