Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
