he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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