this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The adults are the big ones right?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
