i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
