you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
