So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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