If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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