i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize