one might say we're banned from that church
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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