They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Help. Why am I so naked?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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