Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.

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(972): View more from Texas

I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.

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(850): View more from Florida

My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.

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(757): View more from Virginia

We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.

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(904): View more from Florida

This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.

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(207): View more from Maine

I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.

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