I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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