Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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