And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize