I bet he comes in French.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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