Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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