we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
