Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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