Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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