she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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