U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
