I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
