no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
