i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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