This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
