I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
