i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
