so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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