Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She bit a glass in half.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize