I got her a Nickelback box set.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
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