i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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