I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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